Do Your Work, Then Step Back: Taoist Wisdom for Sustainable Leadership

For LGBTQ+ leaders who want to make a difference without burning out in the process.

“Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.” ¹

There’s a quiet discipline in knowing when to stop.

If you’re someone who dreams of making a meaningful difference, whose leadership is guided by humane values, a compelling vision, and ethical conviction, taking a break from your “work” (let alone a vacation) can feel like giving up.

Especially for LGBTQ+ leaders and change-makers, this belief can run deep. Many of us have been conditioned to strive harder than everyone else—to prove we belong, to overachieve as a form of protection, or to keep fighting in the face of systemic injustice. We work not only to succeed, but to survive to be seen and accepted.

But when do we cross the threshold between meaningful change-making and unsustainable production?

When does doing good and making an ethical difference stand in opposition to enjoying peace of mind and contentment–let alone having a life?

The Tao Te Ching offers insight:

“Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.”

When you extend too much effort, focus, and intention, what once served your vision begins to work against it.

Thomas Cleary provides an alternative translation of the second line from the Tao Te Ching above that makes this idea even more clear:

“Calculated sharpness cannot be kept for long”

To think critically and logically, to know when and how to act on your dream, and to remain in alignment with your values and beliefs all require recovery and restraint to avoid overwhelm and self-destruction.

Your dream needs limits

If you’re in the work of visionary change—leading based in integrity, advocating for justice, or building something that matters to many—you need to know not only how to implement your dream, but how to sustain it over the long term.

The mistake is not dreaming too big, Rather, it’s believing you can do it all without taking care of yourself.

This is where your leadership needs more than just willpower or purpose. It requires a structure and a compass, to not only keep you moving in the right direction, but as a way to know when enough is enough, and when to step back for rest and reflection.

That’s what I teach my clients through my DREAM coaching principle: a personal blueprint for visionary action that’s guided by clarity, creativity, and alignment.

Here’s what that looks like, and how this principle can support you when the weight of your purpose starts to wear you down.

The DREAM Principle: A Blueprint for Knowing When Enough Is Enough (and Why That Matters)

D: Desire

What do you really want, and why does it matter to you?

Desire is your emotional centre of gravity. Some call desire ‘starting with your why.’ This is what energizes your dream from the inside out into action.

However, when you’re always working, constantly thinking about what you need to do, and taking on too much, it’s normal to start feeling resentment at how overwhelmed you’ve become. This is a sign that you’ve diverted from the path of your original desire. Instead of being aligned with your vision, you’re now functioning from a place of obligation or survival.

Don’t let your ‘why’ become "Why the hell am I doing this?".

Ask yourself:

Is what I’m doing right now aligned with what I truly want, or am I chasing someone else’s measure of enough?

R: Render

Are you bringing your dream to life in a way that’s natural to you?

Rendering is about turning your vision into reality through your own creative strengths and methods. Overexertion and overwhelm signal misalignment in how you’re working. You might be trying to force your dream through someone else’s strategy or structure, or over-compensating in different ways to meet external expectations.

“Care about people’s approval
and your heart will never unclench.”

Ask yourself:

Does my current approach feel creative and energizing, or does it feel performative?

E: Emotion

Are you emotionally empowered or drained?

The quality of your emotional state matters. Not because joy is constant, but because feelings like contentment, enthusiasm, and love help sustain your efforts over time. When you’re disconnected from those states, your work (your dream) begins to feel like a burden. Over-work becomes your norm, and burnout isn’t far behind.

Fear, frustration, and stress are both mind and joy killers.

Ask yourself:

What emotions are driving my efforts today? Anxiety, urgency, guilt, or something more fulfilling like contentment, joy, and satisfaction?

A: Alignment

Are your systems, schedule, and energy working with you or against you?

Alignment means designing your work around your natural rhythms, not the grind and hustle culture of “always on and performing.” It means creating structures that support focus (flow state), recovery (rest and play), and discernment (clarity and reflection). Ignoring your natural rhythms means that even meaningful work will start to diminish your well-being.

If you don’t feel well, you can’t lead well.

Ask yourself:

Where in my week, day, or environment am I pushing against myself rather than flowing with what helps me thrive?

M: Method

Do you have a sustainable, self-care approach to your dream?

Without a clearly defined method or structure, everything feels urgent. You default to overworking because you haven’t defined what “enough” looks like and what’s your priority for the day, project, or year. A personalized method gives you both progress and permission: it tells you what to focus on, when to keep going, and when to step back.

It’s your life… so why are you following someone else’s plan?

Ask yourself:

What does enough look like for today, and how will I know when I’ve reached it?

Serenity Isn’t Found in Hustle, It’s Found in Recovery

Returning to the Tao Te Ching:

“Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.”

Taking time off isn’t about abandoning your dream. It’s about cultivating and sustaining your vision so that your dream doesn’t get crushed under the weight of constant performance and busy work. When your effort flows through a method that empowers you, your work unfolds in its own time naturally.

A clearly defined method to accomplish your dream includes when you work and when you take rest so that you can support others and pursue your dream with clarity and energy. Taking regular time off is what preserves your personal power to return to your work with enthusiasm and vitality.

Not taking time for yourself is like trying to unfold a crumpled up piece of paper that’s already been flattened out.

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A Gentle Invitation

If you’re in a constant state of overwhelm, seeking a method to better manage your time, or greater clarity and alignment about what really matters to you, I created something to help.

Leading With Queer Integrity is a free 7-day self-guided coaching experience that explores my six principles of ethical, sustainable leadership for LGBTQ+ change-makers.

You’ll receive short daily reflections, coaching prompts, and video guidance to help you align your thinking, values, and vision with your leadership as a queer person.

Know When to Step Back and What to Step Into

If you’ve been circling the same decision for weeks and your energy is being pulled in too many directions, it’s time to step back and reconnect with what matters.

The Integrity Call is a 75-minute leadership session to help you cut through overwhelm, regain clarity, and move forward with a decision that aligns with your values, your purpose, and your queerness. This isn’t about more ideas or another to-do list. It’s about choosing the next right step and trusting yourself enough to take it.

Your investment: $225 CAD.

→ DM “DREAM” and I’ll send you the link to book your session.

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1. Quotations from the Tao Te Ching, Chapter 9 (Stephen Mitchell translation), unless otherwise noted.